Characteristics of a good father

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Deuteronomy 17:17 “And he shall not acquire many wives for himself, lest his heart turn away, or shall he acquire for himself excessive silver and gold.”  ESV Bible Extra Reading: Deuteronomy 17:14-20

If a man chooses to marry too many wives, he will be unable to give much attention to the first one. We all know that the Scriptures promote a monogamous marriage. A man who marries more than one wife will find it difficult to model a healthy image of a godly father to his children. A father should be blameless before God so that his children may learn the fear of the Lord from him. A good father will not provoke his children. Instead, he will encourage them and be their coach and mentor. A father must rule his family well because the home is a miniature church. The home is a proving ground for leadership in the church. The father is the head of his home, and not a dictator, tyrant, or bully. He is the leader of his wife and children. He leads them all in the building of a loving, joyful, and peaceful home. He encourages his family members to fulfill their life’s calling and task upon earth. A good father is not bossed about or dominated by his wife. He does not allow his children to disobey, rebel, or talk back to him or his wife. He takes the lead in controlling his home for Christ and His Kingdom. A good father rules his family with dignity, respect, and love. 1 Timothy 3:5 states, “For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?” You may this is a good question indeed. A good father is involved in the training and education of his children to cultivate good morals and discipline. This will result in good manners when they grow up.

When God talks about man being the head of the woman, He is not talking about ability or worth, competence or value, brilliance or advantage. God is talking about function and order within a home. Within God’s order of things there is a partnership, but every partnership must have a head, and God has ordained that man is the head of the partnership. The man is the ultimate authority in the family. The wife is to submissive to that authority. So long as she and the rest of the family live by this rule, the family experiences love, joy, and peace, orderliness, and it fulfills its function and purpose on earth. This, of course, assumes that the man is fulfilling his part in the family. The husband is the protector and comforter of the wife. A good man loves his wife with a selfless and unselfish love, with a love of the will as well as of the heart. It is a love of commitment and affection. One that would happen in most marriages would be this: the wife would melt in the husband’s arms and willingly accept his authority as the head of the family. One father who is good will do the following practical things for his wife and family:

Wash the dishes at times. Open the gate and car door for his wife. Kiss her good bye in the morning when she goes to work, and kiss her again when she gets back. Pray with her before bed in the evening. He tells her and the children that he loves them regularly. This is how to be a good husband and father.

Prayer: Father God, please increase the number of good fathers. In Jesus’ name, Amen!

Rev. Samuel N. Modise

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